


You're Impossible

by r_497385



Series: Vaguely connected stories becuz I like to hurt ppl [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: AWESAMDAD FUCKING POG LET'S GO, Angst and Feels, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Sam just wants Tommy to be okay, Sam will burn the world for Tommy, Suicidal TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), i cannot say i didn't cry writing this tho, i swear this is fluffy and you will not regret it, lotsa crying and painful hugs, mans straight up grabbed the traumatized child and RAN, not beta read we die like Mexican Dream, soft, soft shit even if it hurts a lot, this is gonna heal your soul trust me, this is really comforting after you've managed to swallow down the angst, tommy is not okay, tommy is trying his best, very soft, well after i hurt your feelings first ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29377779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r_497385/pseuds/r_497385
Summary: Sam is a man of many talents.Sam is a man who is stubborn, and will try his best for a child he sees so broken down by the world.Sam worries, but he is trying.OrSam tries so hard to help Tommy, he wants to protect the kid, watch as the shit show go to hell for him, and see if he actually comes back up successfull.AlsoTommy and Sam content pog, who wouldn't want to see that c'mon.
Relationships: Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit
Series: Vaguely connected stories becuz I like to hurt ppl [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181990
Comments: 16
Kudos: 479
Collections: Completed stories I've read, Found family to make me feel something





	You're Impossible

**Author's Note:**

> Yo guys. 
> 
> Sam and Tommy has been living in my head rent free. 
> 
> Here's a fucking one shot I wrote for them because they're so precious it hurts.

  
From what he could tell, Sam was a man of many talents.

  
He could do a lot for the SMP, offering many things to uphold a stable future.

At least without Dream roping his way in, even in prison the man seems to unnerve him.

  
Maybe it's the wistful look Tommy has when the man was mentioned, it could possibly be Tommy's lingering blue eyes straining against looking away, maybe it's the way his bandaged fingers shook, maybe it's the way he subconsciously leans in Sam for some sort of....security?

Sam doesn't know, but Sam _wants_ to do something for him. Call him an optimist for thinking he could _'fix'_ Tommy just because he was a man of many, many talents.

  
Call him over confident, Sam was a man with many capabilities who wants to help, and he believes.

Case Tommyinnit, Sam will sooner or later realize, was way harder than anything he had imagined.

  
-

"-ig Innit Hotel!! How does that fancy your crafty hands big man?!" The kid was loud, for sure.

Eyes bright blue, the tiniest hint of grey there slightly overshadowing it's intensity.

  
Sam sets his face straight even behind the mask, Tommy could tell Sam was not impressed. 

  
Tommy had been associated with another one with a mask too to know of their tendencies in mood swings and such.

  
Sam doesn't have that, Tommy beams then, and he swats Sam hard enough on his back whilst jumping up and down and flailing his arms in the air to make the man in front of him appease his wishes.

Albeit reluctantly, the smile grows back on Sam's lips faster than he could pretend Tommy's swatting had bothered him.

  
It didn't, and he complied.

(Awesamdude was a man of many talents. This will be easy).

-

  
Sam takes notice of Tommy's weird habit one day.

The blonde picks at his own armor, like the straps supposedly providing him security suffocated him.

Idly, Tommy's fingers scrape against the materials of his armor, dancing along the surface, the straps, sometimes intense enough where Sam can see red lines making their way onto Tommy's palm.

Sam frowns, ready to reach his hand out, before even managing to have a say in, Tommy pretends as if nothing had happened. Suddenly laughing at Sam and calling him weird for looking at a sixteen year old so intensely.

Tommy's snide remarks went through Sam's head.

  
Next time, Sam knows Tommy is somehow capable of ignoring the Egg's taunts, so Sam decides that Tommy's armor wouldn't help him that much anyway.

In his hands though, was a hard hat.

  
Tommy's hard hat.

  
It was enough. For Tommy, and for him.

  
Tommy looks less distraught, his hands stopped, and Tommy looks more relaxed than he ever has in what Sam supposes to Tommy, was a stuffy armor.

The hard hat stays. Tommy wears it all the time, and Sam smiles.

  
It becomes a code for them.

_"If you don't have your hard hat, I will have to escort you out."_

(Playful, and promising).

  
(Awesamdude was a man of many talents. This is hopefully gonna be easier in the future).

  
-

With roots tangling around the secluded area, cracks manifesting into red, clutching at it's surrounding like a bulging vein, people was reluctant to really let it be a part of their lives.

The sight was unnerving. Everyone agreed on that, at least.

Sam would also think, that nobody could stand being in the room too long with the damn thing. Save from maybe Bad, but he was the one who found it after all.

Other than that, Sam thinks no one would want to go up to it so willingly knowing what it's capable of.

Someone proves Sam wrong, however.

  
Tommy.

  
Sam looks through the shadows, the blonde swiftly ignoring his presence as if he wasn't aware he was there.

  
Tommy wasn't.

  
That was a first sign for Sam, and then he sees Tommy trail his fingers along the Egg's surface.

  
Bad nowhere in sight, he thinks that's probably why Tommy was so confident in striding in.

  
Tommy then talks to the Egg, and Sam's heart stops.

  
"Why won't you just take me?"

  
Sam's hands clutched in on themselves, a hard frown planting themselves on his lips.

  
"I don't need immunity. I want to see what you could do, stupid Egg."

  
Tommy whispers as if annoyed, but there was a certain tone there that makes him sound immersed, interested, pleading.

  
Sam feels his hands twitch, and his heartbeats grew distant and hollow as Tommy continued to talk with the Egg.

  
"You know what I want Egg. A break is all I need."

  
A pause. Sam's breathing stops.

  
Suddenly there are voices inside of his head,

**_'How long child? Shall it be your permanent rest or shall it be temporary? I am not one to grant wishes, but consuming you until you're left crimson, rooted into bloodied soil, is a favorable occurrence if the possibility arises in the future.'_ **

  
_Sam feels so sick_ , his hands climb up his mask. And his body freezes and then Tommy-

"Good."

Sam's heart stills.

"I think we both know which one I would prefer, bitch." 

  
Soft spoken and hopeful.

Sam feels his world start to tumble, for he, doesn't know which one Tommy prefers, and continuously ignores the obvious answer.

  
Sam feels his fists clench, his heart burried deep in his chest and he walks up from the shadows.

  
His smile was achingly forced, and his pained expression never left from behind his mask.

  
Tommy turns to him and stares.

Sam feels sick, Tommy looks like he could read Sam from behind his mask like an open book.

  
Yet the boy just smiled, acknowledging Sam's concerns, but never making the effort to wave it off.

  
Tommy let's it be, and _Sam feels **sick**._

  
Tommy doesn't address his looks, Tommy doesn't address Sam's hands circling his shoulder when they walked out, Tommy doesn't address Sam's consistent presence whenever Tommy visits the Egg again, and practically Sam's presence everywhere he goes.

  
Tommy doesn't address any of these, but he smiles stiffly at Sam. And follows Sam's guidance in everything he does, Tommy's smile was genuine. Genuine, but strained. Strained and tired. Hopeful for something Sam doesn't want.

  
And Sam desperately wants to change that. Sam desperately needs to change that.

(Awesamdude was a man of many talents. This is not easy at all).

-

  
Tommy jumps at any given chance to annoy Sam. Trying his best to poke fun at him, even if it lacks any bite, Sam knows Tommy was just trying.

Sam smiles at that, and he pats Tommy's head without a warning.

  
The boy grows still, and his eyes widened.

Hands carding through his blonde locks, Tommy looks up through golden matted lashes, Sam nearly swoons when the blonde leaned in closer to his touch.

  
Tommy's hand held Sam's own in place when he tries to pull away.

  
Sam smiles so bright underneath the mask, and something tells him Tommy knows too. The fierce blush indicating that much.

  
(Awesamdude was a man of many talents. This is gonna be easier! Hah!)

Later, Tommy looks at Sam differently. Not sure what to make out of Tommy's scrutiny, Sam goes to pat his head again.

  
This time, Tommy _flinches_.

  
Sam's mouth felt dry.

Tommy looks at him, so much uncertainty in those dulled blue eyes, the pit growing inside of Sam's stomach threatening to eat him whole.

  
Sam swears they were getting somewhere. He swears. _He really did._

  
Tommy's hands shake, pushing himself in a standing position so he could look at Sam better.

  
"Why do you still tolerate me, Sam? Do you want something from me big man? I-if you-"

Tommy inhales shakily and stops himself for a while.

  
And Sam hates that he knows where this was going. His hands wobbled, they wanted to reach out, to hold Tommy, to help, to just-

  
But Tommy's look dared him to move any further, Sam feels his throat go dry, and his lips drawing out copper.

"You must want me for something r-right?  
B-but how can I benefit you I don't understand? I- I've been so fucking useless to you a-and, and-"

  
Tommy fumbles with his words and there are tears sticking from the corners of his eyes, his pupils were blown wide, then his hand flew upwards. Off goes those golden locks, the fingers curling around them unrelenting and cruel.

Sam hates this. Sam isn't able to do this.

Sam feels water prick his vision and his hands go out of his command.

  
(Impossible).

Sam ignores those words.

  
Finally, holding Tommy closely to his chest as if letting go would make the boy disappear completely.

  
Tommy's shoulders then shake, the tears were burning his vision, Sam's hold grew tighter.

  
Sam tries to open his mouth, but the words immediately die in his throat when Tommy starts to cry in his shirt,

  
"I don't want another Phil, Sam. I- I don't.   
I can't Sam, _I can't._ "

  
Tommy squeezes his front, stains his shirt with snot and tears, all Sam hears is the the words that had managed to slip from Tommy's lips and Sam feels his heart break into two.

 _(Impossible)_.

No. Sam holds in his own breath, he will not fucking cry. He needs to fucking be there for Tommy.

  
Tommy sobs in his shirt,   
"I can't Sam. I can't. I can't handle this, I don't want another Phil. I can't. _Please_ , Sam. _Tell me what you want_."

  
_(Impossible)_.

  
Sam's breathing hitches, his shoulder shake with Tommy's. Their minds clashing, loud and tethered inside of their own head, one out of conflict, and the other out of desperation.

  
The two meld, and it grows and grate at their souls, none of the two making a move, Sam tightens his grip, and Tommy scoots in closer.

  
_**(Impossible)**_. 

Sam feels his heart twist, the dread in his stomach punching his heart out up his throat.

  
Tommy's afraid to consider him a _Philza_. A parent. Tommy's parent. Sam's heart aches only for a distant second at the awfully warm thought, then his heart burns the next, 

  
Tommy's _afraid_ to consider him a **_Philza_**.  
Philza was a man clad in adventures, experience, and love.

  
But Philza's love was divided in starkly diversed steep hills.

  
Philza was a man of favourites. Therefore he lost his children in the hands of a monster, now leaving the only one left with a single life farring for himself. Sam feels his heart burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. His skin feels hot. Anger, sadness, they all tore through his mind endlessly through Tommy's cries.

  
Tommy cries into his shirt.

Sam's heart burns with the rest of his mind.

  
~~(Impossible)~~.

(Awesamdude was a man of many talents. It was hard, surely. But it was not impossible).

(No, it's not).

  
-

  
Sam finds himself in a situation he does not know how to handle.

  
Sam finds himself looking at Tommy with more and more concern.

Sam doesn't understand the photos Tommy keeps in his inventory.

  
Doesn't get why Tommy would hang it in one of his rooms, actually finished, away from the hotel as shelter, doesn't get the way Tommy skims his fingers gently over them like they're glass.

Sam doesn't get the soft melody humming through Tommy's door, doesn't get the anthem filling each night with such eerie silence as a setting, doesn't get the cape messily strewn about his bed with puffs on it's collar looking similar to one out of royalty and coloured blue, doesn't get the strums of guitar when he knows Tommy has only one guitar left with him from his deceased brother, doesn't get the longing in Tommy's eyes when he had accidentally mentioned Philza's name in annoyance, doesn't get Tommy's bright blue axe proudly stuck on the walls of his room, doesn't get Tommy's tears whenever any of his family members were mentioned.

(Impossible).

  
Sam doesn't get it.  
Sam wants Tommy to forget. To stop.

  
It's not fucking healthy.

  
Sam wants to throw it all out, wants to lash out at these people for wrecking Tommy to the point of no return.

He wants them to _burn and turn to nothing but ash_ , and to burn with the ground. With Sam standing tall, a smiling Tommy laughing at his side.

  
Sam clenched his fists, sees red, but his love and understanding was far stronger.

  
Sam cares so much. Tommy cares too much.

  
Sam does too, but it's for Tommy, and not stupidly irresponsible people who tossed him out like garbage once he made a mistake.

  
Sam _cares so much, his heart hurts._

  
So he doesn't burn those things to the ground.

He stares at Tommy when Tommy grows distant in melancholic bliss.

  
He inches closer when Tommy starts to _shake_.

  
He closes their distance with a hug, always prompted by Sam, to make sure Tommy was breathing again.

  
Sam hates that he doesn't get Tommy's flood of tears when Sam holds him for too long.

  
He never pushes him, so Sam _stays_.

  
(Awesamdude was a man of many talents.   
This is impossible).

  
-

(This is impossible).

  
Sam turns, only to find Tommy there, lying in green green grass.

There was blood pouring down his face, and Sam blanches.

  
Sam runs, he runs, and runs, and _runs_.

  
"Tommy! Tommy, Tommy! The hell happened?!"

Frantically wiping off the blood so he could see Tommy's grey eyes. _They hurt._

  
Sam's lips wobbled, and he has to take deep breaths before he could move accordingly, quickly wrapping gauze around the boy's head.

  
The blonde remains silent, and Sam grew louder.

  
"Tommy! Please! I told you not to go without me, and yet you still did! Why Tommy you c-could've-"

Sam doesn't finish the thought, his voice wavers and Tommy looks at him in a daze.

Sam _screams_ at him.

  
"Tommy! Tommy! Please! I-"

"I'm so sorry, Sam." Tommy croaks out, Sam stops all together. Voice failing him, sputtering when Tommy takes a hand through his blood soaked hair.

  
"I- I I wasn't thinking straight. I- I promise you I was going to let you come with, it's just...just...." 

Tommy fails to answer, and Sam doesn't need him to say more.

Sam scoops him in his arms. Protectively circling his arms around the boy's lithe waist.

  
Wasting no time to whisper comforting words in his ear.

  
Shushing him, refusing to cry, willing his voice to steady and let Tommy recover from the shock of nearly getting killed. _Again_.

"Fuck it, I'm so sorry Sam. Truly, I am. Please, forgive me, I-I can't lose you, I was bad and, and, I was trying but i fucking forgot because, I didn't want to burden you. I can't be a burden to you too."

  
Tommy apologizes fiercely, Sam hates that he knows Tommy was sorry just because Sam was worried about his wellbeing, about how Sam forbade him from getting too far away from him, not because he was _nearly...killed_.

  
Sam swallows thickly at the sickening thought. His head hurts so much from worrying, he wants Tommy to be okay again. _Please_.

  
He rubs his hands soothingly in circles behind Tommy's back.

  
Willing his heart to stop twisting for once, _please_ , he can't feel sad in front of Tommy.

  
"You are not. Tommy. You never were, and you never fucking will be." Sam said sounding so sure. Fiery determination lit up in his chest like wild flowers.

Tommy wilts.

  
His tears cease, but his hiccups persisted.

  
Almost slowly, Tommy whispers to Sam.

  
"I was. And always will be Sam. Even to you, one day. Why did you think people got rid of me...." 

  
Sam objects fiercely, and showered Tommy in praises the boy grew dizzy with so much warmth.

Tommy chuckles albeit weakly.

  
"I am Sam I am. I hope you realize someday. As I'd like to put it into words,  
I was the _least lovable son._  
I was the _least favourite son._  
I was _the last, the most annoying, the least useful son. And Phil was supposed to love everyone_."

  
Tommy laughs airily into Sam's bruising hug.

Just like that, the fire fuelling Sam's determination was dunked on ice water as it wilts away into a heap of dust.

  
Sam's hug never let go, he keeps reassuring Tommy, but his heart feel like it's gone, drowned in iodine and poison.

  
Tommy laughs again through his tears.

  
"What does that say about me then, Sam?"

(Awesamdude was a man of many talents.  
This is not one of them). 

  
-

(It was impossible).

  
(It was out of his league).

(Awesamdude was not a man of many talents).

(Awesamdude was a failure of a parent, at even his best).

  
-

  
Tommy stares at Sam once.

Tommy sees frustration weighing down his shoulder like rocks.

  
Tommy have been trying to say the least. He does his best after the scare he gave Sam multiple times.

  
As the man had grown protective, and awfully desperate.

Sam's determination flaked and resurfaced again and again, just as fast as the wind passing by.

Sam tries harder, and Tommy realizes.

  
Sam's worried, and Tommy realizes.

Sam wants the best for him, and Tommy realizes. Tommy isn't blind, nor stupid.

Tommy pushes the bitter taste in his mouth whenever the voices taunt him everytime he feels like opening up to Sam more. To let him be something more.

To let Sam be what he _knows_ Sam will become.

Tommy sees the reassuring smile, the soft laughter Sam emits whenever he said a joke or two twice, the adoration and pride coating off his words whenever he addressed Tommy and his hotel.

Tommy's heart swells. 

  
And truly, He was tired. He was tired of feeling like this. And he knows the man in front of him will accept him no matter how fucked he was.

  
He loves Sam, he really does.

  
And well, even if Sam was destined to be another Philza, even if their relationship will end up in a L'manburg, even if Tommy still expects the betrayal of a Wilbur and a Techno, Tommy doesn't care.

He wants this.

  
Tommy has been making progress. And he would show Sam just how much he has been helping.

Tommy adores Sam. He can handle pain, even if Sam were to be any of these bad repetition of the past that will surely make him crumble completely, Tommy doesn't care.

He will do anything in his might to make this man smile, because Sam has been patient, and has never let hopelessness crush him regarding his efforts into caring for Tommy, and Tommy adores that so much he could cry.

  
Sam smiles at him when Tommy comes back from a short trip to the fields.

  
Bringing a handful of flowers that Tommy picked out on their far away self made garden.

Bundled with emeralds that shine through the room from where a sliver of light managed to hit it at the right angle.

Sam studies the flowers and his eyes struck two types of them, mostly dominating the bundle by an abundance.

_Hydrangeas and Sunflowers._

  
Sam's knees felt weak, his hands tremble from something too good for once, and he immediately wants to engulf Tommy in a bone crushing hug.

  
Tommy however, was faster on his feet, and leapt just in time when Sam opened his arms wide enough for a hug.

  
Tommy laughs out hard and joyful for the first time in a while, feeling tears wet his hair from where it was tucked safely under Sam's chin.

  
The first hug Tommy ever instigated. With a bunch of sappy flowers that were too meaningful for Sam that they made him burst.

  
Sam cries, tears of joy leaking from his already red eyes, listening to the sounds of Tommy giggling in his embrace, weeping joyfully at Tommy's happy hum.

For once, the air around them was light.

Airy happiness and carelessness, Tommy pushing away his past insecurities in order to try and not find a new one, but to change it into something better.

  
To heal, and to mend. Even if it was impossible in Tommy's mind, he was still willing to try. For Sam, and for himself.

Sam, somehow, seemingly laughs harder in between the happy tears slipping down his cheeks.

As if hearing Tommy's thoughts loud and clear.

  
Tommy doesn't care about that though, instead, he's glad that Sam knows.

Sam's bruising hold grew lighter now.

  
Tommy then snuggles in the man's chest as they let themselves wash away with laughter.

  
The night was young, and so was the boy in Sam's hold.

Sam smiles again once he's stopped crying.

Tommy looks up at him, beaming, charming smile directed at Sam that made Sam's heart melt.

Sam snickers happily, patting Tommy's soft hair once more.

Teasingly asking, "You sure are sly huh, Toms? Seriously? Flowers? How much more sappy can you get? Do you know how much they mean to me, huh? I can't believe you actually harbour those kinds of feelings towards me Toms, here I thought you were stiff and awkward, hah! Look at you now!"

  
Sam barks out a laugh when Tommy just snuggles closer to him.

Promptly shying away, hiding his face with an expression Sam already knew was either embarrassment or joy.

Sam doesn't mind both honestly, the kid's too endearing, he's all warm inside now he could fucking die into a pile of mush.

  
Sam taunts Tommy again about the flowers one last time, Tommy finally responding with a resounding chuckle,

  
"I don't have any idea what you're talking about Sam."

  
Sam's smile widens he feels his cheeks hurt.

  
(Awesamdude was a man of many talents. Even if it was impossible, Sam was never one to give up. He was stubborn as all hell, and he will fucking make sure that fate will bend to his wishes as he holds Tommy in his chest with glee).

-

**Author's Note:**

> Huh. Forgot c!philza existed there.
> 
> Does he even exist tho?
> 
> Come again...
> 
> C!philza? Who dat?
> 
> What a crappy name Haha, hopefully no one with that name actually exists in the Dream SMP heh


End file.
